TREE

Last week when we were out at “the Lake” I took a bike ride with Kenny and my younger two kiddos. I need to tell you now that somewhere between now and 1990 my buttOX has grown two sizes but has lost it’s padding. How is this possible. That blasted bike seat kills my butt. So how I ever noticed this tree that was on the bike path is beyond me. Cause I was whining about my rump something fierce and to top it off my kids were not wearing bike helmets. And we had just been to the pediatricians office the week before and he made me feel like the worlds worst mother, when my children admitted that we don’t wear helmets (most of the time). So my butt bones were aching and I was super paranoid that Dr. K was gonna show up in from of us with a warrant for my arrest. By the way, I realize that my husband is an ER doctor and sees bazillions of head injuries…he realizes it too. Ok this bike helmet issue is for a whole nother day.

I obsessed (to myself) about this tree, I had to get some pictures of it. It was freaky. So I bribed my older two children to go on another bike ride with me. Destination for them Pronto Pups(fabulous corn dogs on a stick) for me it was all about getting pictures of this kookoo-ka-choo tree.

There they are, brats, “come on mom…hurry up..what’s taking so long? why are you taking so many pictures of that tree?”. Do you see it there with its arm out stretched over my children…? That just struck me as unusual…you don’t see a tree with a branch sticking straight out horizontal to the ground everyday. It was like it was saying “HALT”! Or maybe it was just airing out it’s tree arm pit…it was a hot day. “Get out from under that trees arm”, I yelled “it might grab you, I mean fall on you! I’m coming!”

But that wasn’t the thing that was most interesting to me. Do you see it? The face….the tree was watching over the bike path. Ah-ya…..

Googley eyes! And a beard…

OH my gosh Treebeard! Do I have any Lord of the Ring fans?

I swear…I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. Was sure it was going to move. Drop that arm in front of me and suck me into the forest…never to see my family again! Have I ever told you I have an extremely over active imagination? This is why I can’t watch scary movies.

I nearly had a fatal accident with my oldest daughter on the return trip. I was looking back at the “tree man”, making sure it wasn’t going to snatch one of us, and she decided to stop in from of me…..I cussed and slammed on my brake. Hurt my private area…OUCH!

This is what he looks like coming from the other direction. Mouth open wide. Now that arm looks like a long nose. After my privates recovered and I got back on my bike…I skeedaddled the hector outta there, before he chomped on me. Yikes!

Beware of kwazy Twees in da Forwest…..