Pico de Gallo and Guacamole

I told you I had a few things that I would throw at you before I move. Guacamole has to be one of the most frequently requested recipes that I make. I have posted a guacamole recipe or two, but I have never put this simple, fresh, limey, and I guess I could also say traditional guacamole to the page. There is a catch…..you can’t make guacamole with out first making pico de gallo. Did I hear someone say “yes you can”? Well, whatever…this momma say, “you can’t”. Not if you want yourself some really good guacamole. And hey a little pico on the side never hurt anyone did it?

Same for the tomatoes. First cut in half.

Then slice through again lengthwise, then slice into thin strips, all the while keeping the tomato together. This takes a sharp knife. Dull knifes are the DEVIL. Then slice the tomato through again crosswise and there you have it perfect, itsy bitsy diced tomaters!

Traditionally pico de gallo or fresh salsa is simply tomatoes, onions, jalapeno, cilantro and lime, but I have this love affair with red bell peppers that I cannot shake. I love him. Red Bell pepper come to momma….I know I’m playing with fire. Let’s let this be our secret. I’m going to use just half of him this time. Slice in half, remove the white foamy membrane and seeds, cut in long thin strips and then cut again crosswise for those itsy bitsy pepper pieces.

Now for the hot one. Jalapeno. I use one whole jalapeno pepper, if you like less heat only use a half, if you like more heat then bring it on brother, use more!

Chop off the stem.

You may want to wear plastic gloves while working with jalapenos or any pepper with heat. If you choose not to wear some sort of cooking glove, then I suggested not rubbing your eyes or picking your nose at any time during or after the jalapeno chopping process. I would actually suggest that you refrain from nose picking entirely while cooking, but that’s just my opinion. (I’ve got a funny booger recipe that I will have to share with you sometime…now is not the time, but I promise someday I will share.)

Now for the mincing. Slice pepper into very thin strips, then take knife and chop like a maniac. Chop, chop, chop, chop don’t stop until you have very tiny micro bits of jalapeno pepper.

You will need some of this. Morton Nature’s Seasoning is my favorite seasoning….I think I’ve said that before. I use it everyday. It’s a perfect salty seasoning blend. Get yourself some.

As you chop your vegetables place them in a bowl, sprinkle with 1 teaspoon of the seasoning salt.

The most tedious task of this whole recipe, for me anyway, is the cleaning and de-stemming of the cilantro. Run your Cilantro through a salad spinner, getting it nice and clean. Or if you don’t have one of those doo-hickeys then run cilantro under cold water and lay out on paper towels to dry. Remove leaves from stems. You will need a good handful or approximately 1/3 cup cilantro, roughly chopped.

Roll, roll, roll your lime…gently on the table…give it a squish with your palm, and cut through the…..

Ah the songs of my youth! Seriously if you roll the lime along the counter with some pressure, it will loosen the juices on the inside and make it easer to juice. If you have a juicer well then great, if not you can join me in my fork juicing method.

Fork juicing method 101: After rolling, and cutting in half, hold one half of the citrus in the palm of your less dominant hand, ram the fork into the middle of the citrus….

Toss the chopped vegetables with the lime juice. Take tortilla chip in a pincer grip, scoop some pico on the chip, and enjoy!

Oh but wait….now you need to make Guacamole! Have you ever heard this song? It makes me giggle.

Look at that. It takes my breath away. The color. I really need to paint a room in my house this color. I’ll get right on that one…NOT. I hate to paint walls. I leave that up to the professionals.

Slice avocado in half. Whack your very sharp knife into the pit, and give a tiny twist to remove.

If you are civilized you can take a spoon and gracefully scoop out the flesh of the avocado, or if you are sufficiently uncivilized like myself you can give the avocado half a squeeze and squish it’s innards out into a bowl.